Church boner. Awkwardddd
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize