It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You don't make any sense
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