Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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