You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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