he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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