I am puke
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
