you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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