i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
In America we eat man semen.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
