I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
