9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
