its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
