im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
