I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
