Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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