the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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