And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I love having hate sex.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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