you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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