what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
