My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Terrible idea I love it
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
