I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
