Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
