Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
