Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
