She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
