I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
