We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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