It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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