you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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