i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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