you would pick up someone in the library
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
