I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
