is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
