I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
