i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
