someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
no you cant smoke seaweed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
