what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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