Say something about gay babies.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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