I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
