i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
