I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
