im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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