yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize