She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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