3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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