If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
