I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
