My cat gives me a boner
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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