OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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