i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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