Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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