I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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