Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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