He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
