How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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