Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
