Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
