Its about making memories worth repressing
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
