Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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