I don't usually arrange sex via text message
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
