just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
