You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
