don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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