why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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