Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
