dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
