i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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