we're blogging at a bar
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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