Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
