I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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