Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
